Oh the pain

I have never really experienced immense, long lasting pain. Until this past week. it was pain that brought me to tears many times. In such a short period of time, my mood was thrust into a deep depressive state. I wasn't sleeping...pain wouldn't allow it. I wasn't able to eat much due to the tooth pain, therefore I was increasingly hungry. I was irritable, and I was feeling so alone. I didn't want to be near anyone because I couldn't trust myself to not say something mean, and regretful, so thankfully the Chief let me spend a lot of time in my room, and he entertained the boys. I did the bear minimum, and did my best to hide my pain from the boys.


I went to the dentist on Friday morning, and he thought the pain was due to a filling that was "too high" and without numbing it, he shaved it down. And I had thought that my pain was bad before that...that was 90 seconds of torture! He said it would take a few days but the pain would subside.


But it didn't. It worsened. I was in tears. I was feeling forlorn, and paranoid. What if the pain never ends? What if my dentist doesn't know how to solve this? What if he can't see me Monday morning? It was bad!


I dropped the boys at school on Monday and drove straight to the dentist. He said it was time for a root canal. At this point, I was just grateful he would do something that involved taking away the pain. Of course, the numbing only lasted 4 hours, and then the pain returned. It is getting better each day...thankfully. I'm hoping that by Friday the memory of this week will be dimming and the pain I endured will be a memory that is fading fast.


One thing is for sure...I will have more compassion and empathy for others who experience pain. I can understand now, where I couldn't before.