Good-bye March

Dear March,
You came in so lovely, so warm and sunny. Yet, you leave in such a wet, cold, dreary way. Maybe it is your way of rebelling against letting go of winter. Maybe you don't want us to forget your power to blast winter weather, and warm us with the spring sun. Whatever it is, I don't like the tease you've given us! I really wish you would let the sun shine tomorrow morning.

Please just let Mother Nature have spring come now.

Thanks,

Gretchen

tick tock

The clock is going so fast, spinning around and around. How often as an adult have I wished for it to stand still for a few moments...so I could enjoy watching a newborn sleep, snuggle with my toddler as we read a book, laugh with my preschooler as he learns to tell a joke, and beam with pride as I watched my husband earn his bachelor's degree. It is little moments that I wish I could hang onto, and big moments too. Yet, each day, before I know it, the day has passed, and I wonder if I "lived" enough in that day. Did I pack enough memories of love for my children? Did I share kindness and compassion with my husband? Did I take time to be patient with myself? Did I give enough service to others? Did I thank my Father in Heaven enough?

If I don't wake the next morning, will I have given my children enough happiness to hold onto, my husband enough love to last til we meet again? Will I leave my footprint in the hearts of those around me?

I've pondered these things this week as one of my dear friends is on the journey of saying good-bye to her sweetheart as he entered hospice this week, losing the fight to pancreatic cancer. My heart is sad for her. To have to continue the journey without him with her three young sons is more than my mind can comprehend. I have prayed for her, for her children, and her husband so much this week.

I wish for the clock to stop for just a moment for them...to be together...to hold onto the love. I hope I'll do my best to make that clock stop and freeze the moments of love. I think that is what God wants us each to do. Be mindful, be present and love will be enough.

Just Another Manic Monday

I'm in the process of moving....offices...at both of my places of employment! What are the odds that the moves happen within 10 days of each other? Funnily enough they were both scheduled for the middle of January and both were postponed and here we are moving this week and then again in 10 days! I'm feeling overwhelmed with packing up boxes after occupying my office for 7 years. I've found some interesting stuff, and some files that I've wondered why I've held onto them for so long. The positive part of moving is I can let go of all the stuff that I used to think I "needed." Do you do that too? Do you hold onto things just in case you need it next week, or next month, and before you know it, it has been taking up space for 3 years and you have never used it once?

I am not a hoarder! I much prefer to get rid of things and have fewer stuff to drag around, and yet, I have already packed 4 boxes and still have more to pack. I guess it is time to head to the dumpster...thankfully it is only 20 feet from my office door! I also have a big pile to send to the DI and to the recycle bin! It is feeling good to lighten the laod...wish it was as easy to move the scale in the lighter direction!

So, whether it is for the Annual Spring Cleaning or a big move, I highly recommend letting go of some of that stuff you have been hanging onto, that you don't need, and really don't want. Maybe you can recycle it, or find a friend who has need of it, or sell it on ebay, or donate it to the DI or Goodwill. Let it go...you'll feel better. I know I am feeling better, despite having had a Manic Monday!

I can breathe again

Today, I had to teach Relief Society at church. It is the women's class. There were about 20 women in there today and my lesson was on Adam and Eve. I have felt sick with anxiety all week over this. It really does not matter what the topic is, I find that the closer I get to the lesson, the more anxious I feel. I don't get why I have no problem running a group of 10 adolescents, but standing in front of a room of women lets all the adrenaline flow! Maybe it is the standing part, maybe it is being in front of a group of my peers. I don't know...I just know I'm glad it's over. I'll have a week to relax before I start gearing up for the next lesson.

In the meantime, I can start thinking about something else BIG coming my way...that would be the day I turn 40. I took the day off of work. Don't know how I'm going to spend it yet. Maybe I'll write a long post of funny things from my life thus far. I have quite a few embarrassing moments that I could probably still remember! Maybe I will spend the day dying my hair...the gray is starting to take over, at least I feel like it is when I look in the mirror. Whatever I do, I'll be sure to celebrate!

Okay, going to go do some deep breathing and snoozing. It is Sunday afternoon, afterall!

Seth visits downtown to see Disney on Ice

Seth and I went downtown with our best friends, Shauna and AJ, on a cold March day to see Disney on Ice. Here are some of the photos to remember our special day! Seth's favorite part was seeing Lightning McQueen (sorry, didn't get a photo) and being spoiled by Shauna!

Sunday afternoon quiet

It's Sunday afternoon. We had to turn the clock forward last night so everyone is short an hour of sleep at our house. We were up early to shower and dress for church, which was quite quiet and empty (read: lots of people must have forgotten to move their clocks forward!). We enjoyed the Spirit that was felt there as the speakers talked of missionary qualities and love. Now, we're home. Setheroo had a big day yesterday, riding the trax train downtown to see Disney on Ice and then going shopping with his mom and dad in the evening, so he fell asleep quite quickly for his afternoon nap. The other boys are quiet, reading and playing on dad's ipod touch. I hope that an afternoon nap will be their heart's desire soon. I know it is mine! I'm going to help the Chief put Sunday dinner in the crockpot and then take a short snooze and enjoy the quiet of the day.

I'll upload the pics from Disney on Ice soon! You will want to see my cute Sethers with his friend, AJ!

Things that go bump in the night

It is 5:11 a.m. as I sit here in the family room, in the dark. Only the illumination from my laptop in order to see anything around me. Maybe that is good...I don't see the two loads of laundry I washed last night getting wrinkled and begging to be folded! I'm up on the one day I can sorta sleep in. I've been awake since 4:03 when a strange noise was heard. I couldn't figure out what it was but my darling husband immediately jumped up and said, "If that dumb dog just peed in our room he is going to be in so much trouble!" Turns out, that dumb dog had just peed in our room! On a positive note, it was on a pillow that is easily washable. So, I guess that got the adrenaline pumping, and I just wasn't able to go back to sleep. I came out and started that load of laundry.

So, it's over an hour now I've been awake. Since I didn't want to disturb anyone else, I couldn't start on my long list of housecleaning chores (okay, okay, I could have folded laundry, but I wanted to be in denial a little longer...thus the dark). I decided to catch up on some blog reading. I haven't done that for a little while. Then I decided to see if I had any creative juices left to say something in my own blog! As I sat here on my very comfy couch, I started listening to all the sounds that a house makes in the early morning hours. I could hear the hum of the washing machine, and the dog trying to get comfortable at my feet. I heard someone downstairs tossing and turning, a toilet flushing, and then a cough. I heard the creak on the stairs, and then my 10 year old boy appearing in the dark. "Mom" he loudly whispered, remote control already in his hand. He knows the rules too, no tv in the morning until you are fully dressed for school. So, here he is at 5 in the morning, completely dressed for school and wanting to watch a cartoon or two, or even three this early. I wonder if he gets up this early very often. I don't think so, since I'm the one that wakes him each morning, but maybe he gets up and then returns to bed. Like I hope to do shortly.

Right after I add, "Buy a dog door" to my list of things to do today. That dog is going to learn to let himself out whenever he so choses, so we don't have any more early morning wake-up calls or not so fun presents left behind.

Good Morning! Maybe I'll go watch the Sunrise with my oldest on this fine March Morning!

To play hookey or not

As a kid, I was really responsible. I didn't sluff school, and I don't think I was ever tardy. In HS, my mom gave me permission to skip one day/year (or maybe it was two) if my grades were A's and B's and they always were. So, I played hookey responsibly and with permission. Btw, (side note inserted here) isn't hookey such a hokey word? I love it for it's funkiness.

But as an adult, I want to play hookey more often than not! Of course, the grown-up responsible voice usually wins out, but man, is that rebellious child voice getting louder and louder! Especially as winter is passing and the sunshine is beckoning to me.

So, here I sit in my office. My paperwork is done. I have two more appointments this afternoon, so I know that it would be completely irresponsible and unprofessional to cancel, so I won't. At least not today.

Wouldn't it be fun though?

March came Marching in...

It has been a beautiful start to a traditionally long dreary month for me. See, my birthday is the beginning of April and so as a kid, I had to wait for the endless 31 days of March to pass to get to my birthday month. But here in Utah...March came in a beautiful fashion! It was sunny and upper 50's. The skies were blue and the mountains, still covered in snow, were breathtaking. Maybe it is a sign that spring will come sooner, that the tulips will make an appearance for Easter, and I'll be able to get my little garden in soon. Oh, how I long to say good-bye to winter and let Spring be upon us!

Thanks, Mother Nature, for a wonderful beginning that is Marching in...oh yeah, only 35 days til my 40th birthday!